A couple days ago, if you asked me if I was at all stressed or nervous about leaving for Germany, I would've responded with, "surprisingly, not really!" However, my answer could not be more different now 48 hours later. I have run into so many unanticipated complications and they could not have come at a worse time, since I am also trying to finish up packing and dealing with the emotions that come with leaving my home for a year.
Basically, it all started earlier this week when I had surgery. I had an upper endoscopy (which isn't a very complicated or dangerous procedure at all) to look at the state of my esophagus, stomach, and intestines because of my acid reflux symptoms. I had been having bad stomach/chest pain and nausea for the past couple of months, sometimes so bad that I can't eat and have to lie down because I feel like I'm about to throw up. I was pretty positive it was acid reflux but the medication they gave me didn't completely fix the problem (although it did help) so they decided to do an upper endoscopy to look for anything else. The surgery was awesome! The nurses were all super nice and coming off of anesthesia was so much fun (my favorite moment was when the nurse and I chatted about which House of Cards characters we thought were cute while I vlogged the whole thing), but it turns out I have something called eosinophilic esophagitis. They told me that basically this meant my esophagus was having an allergic reaction to certain foods that I ate. I didn't think this was a huge deal at first. I thought they would be able to test for the allergy and then I would simply cut that food out of my diet (while also taking daily medication for acid reflux because my doctors still think that that might be involved as well). However, I went back for an appointment a couple days later and learned that it is actually much more complicated. Turns out, they can't test for food allergies so I will end up having to cut a bunch of stuff out of my diet (specifically dairy, wheat, soy, nuts, eggs, and fish) and then slowly reintroduce each item to figure out what exactly is causing my esophagus to have an allergic reaction (I did get my blood drawn for a blood allergy test but they all said it would most likely not give any results). I would be fine with this if I wasn't about to go to a foreign country 1) where I will want to try lots of new foods and not have to worry about what I'm eating all the time and more importantly 2) where I will be living with a host family that is having to feed me that did not sign up to deal with a crazy complicated diet that changes every 8 weeks. Also, at home I'm vegan and when I applied I said I would be happy to eat anything while abroad but would really love to be with a vegetarian family. My host family filled out on their form that they would be able to accommodate a vegetarian, which made me believe that they are vegetarian. Having to cut all of these items out of my diet means that I am going to end up having to eat meat in order to get enough protein, which will be especially difficult if they are vegetarian (I have emailed asking them if they are but am currently waiting for a response).
As if the situation with my esophagus could get any worse, as we were driving away from the appointment, I got a call from somebody from CBYX. He was asking about my medical form, which I had emailed them saying that it would be late since I wanted the form to show the results of my surgery in case anything came up. After explaining the situation, he said to email him all of the information so he could pass it on to a third party medical team that would determine whether or not the program would be able to accommodate my medical needs. And then he said, in these exact words, "I have to let you know that oftentimes with this kind of situation the medical team decides that the program is unable to support that student" basically saying there is a chance I won't be able to go to Germany. Now, I would be shocked if I wasn't able to go to Germany because I am having to modify my diet and take an over the counter medication, but that was the opposite of what I needed to hear at that point. I'm sure he said that because he has to make us aware that that is always a possibility, but I sincerely doubt that I wouldn't be able to go because of something like this. However, I have no way of knowing for sure until the program lets me know, so for right now I am hoping and praying that I will still be able to go.
Now, while all of this was happening, I was also dealing with banking issues. I finally decided with my family the system we are going to use. Basically I've saved up money to use while abroad, but there are things that I am going to buy that I don't really want coming out of my savings. Since I also don't want to deal with the fees that come with debit cards but I do want to have access to cash, we decided on two credit cards (one that would be payed off with my savings and one that my parents would pay off) and a debit card for whenever I am in need of getting cash. I went to the bank with my mom to open an account and everything, but the information on my social security card did not match the information on my other IDs (I can't be more specific not trying to be mysterious or anything but its a secret from some people lol) and so I couldn't open an account OR be a registered user on anyone else's card, so I had no idea how I was going to get money in Germany if this social security issue couldn't be resolved. Thankfully, I went to social security and although they were unable to resolve the issue that day, they did give me a notice that I had applied for a new social security card and I was able to take that to the bank and open an account.
The only other thing that has really been happening is that one of my friends that had left to go spend the year in Switzerland is back in the US after two and a half weeks. Why she came back is a very long, complicated story that I don't actually even know since I haven't seen her yet, but that was a huge shock. She decided to study abroad before I even started thinking about it and was one of the people I would spend hours talking it with. We had plans to meet up in Zurich and were planning on writing each other letters back and forth, but now this is somewhat of a complicated situation. If I end up having an amazing time (not to say it won't be incredibly difficult) I wouldn't be able to help but feel guilty that her experience wasn't the same. It was just a complete and total shock that is making me rethink the difficulty and stress involved with studying abroad.
However, with all of this going on, I still am unbelievably excited (if I'm allowed to go). My host sister's old host family from the US is actually visiting them right now and will be there once I go over! I'm almost packed (I have everything I need I just have to stuff it into my suitcase) and as of today there are only 4 days left in Baltimore! I can't believe its all gone by so fast and that the time is so close. Its slowly start to sink in but it still doesn't feel real. I'm having really mixed emotions. I just want a couple more days in Baltimore but I also kind of just want to leave tomorrow. Hopefully next time I write it will be at orientation!!
As if the situation with my esophagus could get any worse, as we were driving away from the appointment, I got a call from somebody from CBYX. He was asking about my medical form, which I had emailed them saying that it would be late since I wanted the form to show the results of my surgery in case anything came up. After explaining the situation, he said to email him all of the information so he could pass it on to a third party medical team that would determine whether or not the program would be able to accommodate my medical needs. And then he said, in these exact words, "I have to let you know that oftentimes with this kind of situation the medical team decides that the program is unable to support that student" basically saying there is a chance I won't be able to go to Germany. Now, I would be shocked if I wasn't able to go to Germany because I am having to modify my diet and take an over the counter medication, but that was the opposite of what I needed to hear at that point. I'm sure he said that because he has to make us aware that that is always a possibility, but I sincerely doubt that I wouldn't be able to go because of something like this. However, I have no way of knowing for sure until the program lets me know, so for right now I am hoping and praying that I will still be able to go.
Now, while all of this was happening, I was also dealing with banking issues. I finally decided with my family the system we are going to use. Basically I've saved up money to use while abroad, but there are things that I am going to buy that I don't really want coming out of my savings. Since I also don't want to deal with the fees that come with debit cards but I do want to have access to cash, we decided on two credit cards (one that would be payed off with my savings and one that my parents would pay off) and a debit card for whenever I am in need of getting cash. I went to the bank with my mom to open an account and everything, but the information on my social security card did not match the information on my other IDs (I can't be more specific not trying to be mysterious or anything but its a secret from some people lol) and so I couldn't open an account OR be a registered user on anyone else's card, so I had no idea how I was going to get money in Germany if this social security issue couldn't be resolved. Thankfully, I went to social security and although they were unable to resolve the issue that day, they did give me a notice that I had applied for a new social security card and I was able to take that to the bank and open an account.
The only other thing that has really been happening is that one of my friends that had left to go spend the year in Switzerland is back in the US after two and a half weeks. Why she came back is a very long, complicated story that I don't actually even know since I haven't seen her yet, but that was a huge shock. She decided to study abroad before I even started thinking about it and was one of the people I would spend hours talking it with. We had plans to meet up in Zurich and were planning on writing each other letters back and forth, but now this is somewhat of a complicated situation. If I end up having an amazing time (not to say it won't be incredibly difficult) I wouldn't be able to help but feel guilty that her experience wasn't the same. It was just a complete and total shock that is making me rethink the difficulty and stress involved with studying abroad.
However, with all of this going on, I still am unbelievably excited (if I'm allowed to go). My host sister's old host family from the US is actually visiting them right now and will be there once I go over! I'm almost packed (I have everything I need I just have to stuff it into my suitcase) and as of today there are only 4 days left in Baltimore! I can't believe its all gone by so fast and that the time is so close. Its slowly start to sink in but it still doesn't feel real. I'm having really mixed emotions. I just want a couple more days in Baltimore but I also kind of just want to leave tomorrow. Hopefully next time I write it will be at orientation!!